i just read on sunday times that this year, 3 singaporeans topped oxford! wow. ok well i'm not exactly very surprised considering i know a handful of pple in oxford/cambridge, and i know these pple are extremely motivated and driven. wen's going to be one of them when she graduates next year!

then i look at myself. well once upon a time, i was classmates with these pple. for those who knew me after sc, i know it's hard to believe, but i was once driven, studied hard and was proud of my grades. i mean, my grades are still acceptable. but in comparison, now i don't even bother to read up before seminars and i find it an extreme chore to do my readings. i guess i've come to a realisation that i don't mind settling for second and i no longer see the need to be so competitive. maybe i'm finding excuses for myself so that i can be conveniently lazy. to be honest, my laziness does irk me sometimes, i could be achieving so much more. perhaps i could have been one of those scholars studying abroad if i hadn't slacked in j1. or perhaps i could be on the dean's list if i rekindled the drive to excel. ok not perhaps. i know i could be if i wanted to.

i think life is too comfortable for me. when those oxford pple are mugging their guts out for that extra half mark, i would be thinking of which movie or drama i should watch next. and when they are burning the midnight oil and ploughing through the thick reference books, i choose to scan through my scanty notes to make sure i get the main gist.

sigh. why. why. why. i only have 1 more year left before i graduate. maybe i should work harder? but i must first find a reason for me to work hard. with a reason comes motivation. but what should it be?
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