ok on hindsight, i was really over-reacting yesterday. realised i was really kinda insensitive especially since so many other people haven't even got interviews yet.

i'm sorry.

if it would make anyone feel better, i wasn't shortlisted for either of the phase 1 companies i applied for. and nope it wasn't because they took my name off the list after i accepted AGD. so i guess i really was just pure lucky. and to add to any more consolation, zhilin told me her friend interned at iras before and her pay was only $440. so i guess my pay would be around there too sigh.

busy this week. busy next week. busy next next week. busy next next next week. sigh.
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sighhhhhhhhh i'm so damn SAD!! most pple say it's very demoralising to be rejected, but i think to reject other pple is even worse!

i'm really feeling down in the dumps now.

cargill called just now. i got the internship. lucky me. but guess what? i rejected them. nice.

fyi, cargill is a privately owned MNC, and if it were to be listed, it would be top 20 in the fortune 500 companies. sighhhhhhhhhhh. and what's worst is that i actually had a choice of which dept i wanted to intern at! cargill has this great commodities trading dept and i definitely could have learnt so much from there! but now, i'm stuck reviewing FRS for 10 weeks for a probable 3-digit pay.

sigh. my mum says i should be happy that so many companies want me, but too bad there is only one of me. bad timing. why didn't cargill call earlier?? siannn. kris was nice enough to come down to accompany me and 'share my sadness'. and she's treating me to a drink later. thanks kristin! =)

nvm i shall attempt to stop wallowing in sadness. AGD really isn't that bad la. for one, there is the brand name. and there would be 6 of us, of which i know 4 others already, so i'd definitely have lunch buddies. and it's kinda near the mrt.

take a deep breath emilia!
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i don't know where to start, i was so damn annoyed just now, really felt like rolling my eyes a million times!!!

just now i accompanied my mum to some investment seminar which we eventually signed up for. well, i was only interested in certain aspects of the seminar, so i was asking the manager if i could just come for the parts i'm interested in. he said it's ok. then i asked if he could give me a schedule/timetable of the workshop, he said it's usually not the protocol, but he'd see to it.

then after being kinda convinced, my mum and i signed up for the workshop.

THEN this other girl was attending to us and she kept contradicting herself and her colleague. omg. she's such a smoker la, she didn't answer a single of my question directly and was just beating about the bush! please, does she think i'm stupid? just because i'm not even 21 doesn't mean i don't know how organisations and events are run!! PLEASE! I'M NOT STUPID!

this was a segment of your ridiculous convo:

me: so it's ok if i just come for half the seminar right? coz i'm only interested in the technical analysis part.
girl: oh it's recommended that you come for the entire seminar. if you don't come, the speaker might ask you to leave and attend the next session in may
me: what? why would he ask me to leave? the parts that i missed aren't even related to the technical analysis
girl: oh it's all somewhat interlinked. the entire seminar is created in such a way that you learn it structured manner. so if the speaker feels that you can't catch up, he might ask you to attend the next session in may. it's for your own good and your group's good.
me: so the basis for asking me to leave is for my own good? but i don't see how motivating you to earn money(the part which i intend to miss) is related to technical analysis.
girl: oh it's all somewhat interlinked. or if you can't make it, we suggest you don't come for this march session and come for the full session in may.

HELLO! i just paid my deposit and you're telling me not to come?? are you crazy?? and this isn't all, she was so anal in the second part of the convo, i really didn't understand why she was so RIGID!!

me: then can you give me the seminar timetable so i can assess what time to come
girl: oh we can't do that. we don't give out the timetables for our workshop
me: why can't you give it? isn't it a standard procedure? and shouldn't the timetable be out at least a week beforehand?
girl: oh it's coz the speakers might have some last minute commitments, so the sequence might change.
me: then wouldn't it be finalised the day before? can't i have it the day before?
girl: oh yes it would be finalised the day before, but we would only post it on the day itself. this is so that participants would not come for just selected portions of the workshop
me: i thought to myself, but why can't we come for just selected parts? we paid for it didn't we? and who on earth has so much time to come and listen to all the crap?? so i said but just now during the presentation, there was a clear indication of what you'd be teaching each day
girl: oh yea but that is just a guideline, it's still subject to last min changes. so for instance, if the speaker isn't available, they might teach that part on another day instead.
me: but didn't you mention that the course is structured? so isn't there a sequence?
girl: well yes, but you won't lose out coz eventually you'd still learn everything that is promised

do you see the contradiction?? O M G!

me: but your colleague mentioned just now that he can help me see to it if i want the schedule
girl: sorry it's strictly company policy
me: but why can't you give it? your colleague said it's ok
girl tries to beat around the bush about how it's for my own good to come for the whole workshop and deliberately doesn't answer my question

now you see why i was so annoyed?? what kinda sales person is that?? i mean i don't think she deliberately meant to annoy me, but what she said completely contradicted what her colleague told me! and what's worst is that she's so rigid! yes she apologised at the end our convo, and i realised that my tone was harsh. but seriously, i felt that i already exercised quite a lot of self restraint. i asked my mum if i sounded angry, she said not really, but i did sound like i thought that her words were ridiculous and completely unbelievable. yes i don't deny it, i was completely flabbergasted at her ignorance and inflexibility. and it's completely ironic that she isn't giving in to the customer! yes i was being very persistent and i was really digging for details, but that's coz she was smoking!!! and her smoking skills suck! i mean i hang out with smokers all the time too (gan smokes 50% of the time and kristin smokers 99.99999% of the time), but that's ok coz they smoke about casual stuff. hello, but you're in the business line and you're trying to smoke me?? well, maybe you tried to smoke me coz you were:

1)lazy
2)incompetent
3)or worst, think i'm stupid and easily smoked

well guess wrong coz i'm not stupid and i can see through smokers quite easily. it's only a matter of only i wanna let it go or not. but just now, it's really wayy to smoky and i'd be an idiot to not sieve through your smoke!
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kristin was telling me that i 'damn' a lot. hmm. yea i guess. i don't mean it in an abusive manner, but it's just a natural thing to say sometimes. haha, i rmb my snr used to replace it with 'chicken macnugget'. lol. i wonder what enmity she had with it, i always thought it tasted great with the curry sauce

and as much as my mum hates to hear me say it, i really feel like saying a bit fat 'SHIT'. yea just felt like saying it out of the blue. 'SHIT'. risk is so b o r i n g. it's one of those subjects that seems difficult to score, so you try to put in a little more effort by wanting to read more. and at this moment you realise that there really isn't anything to study/understand. the tragedy of business students. sometimes science students do get the better deal, at least they know what to study. lol how ironic.

oh and i just read ching's blog! she's gg back to hk for summer! sigh so near yet so far. if only she could make a detour back to sg in july, then all of us would be present to celebrate my 21st! damnnn lol.

*i really wanna watch he's just not that into you~ friday seems like eternity!!
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why didn't i realise that all my friends are so smart?

my decision to not tell anyone till it comes has failed terribly. i didn't expect anyone to guess what it was, but well, all of you are really too smart haha. did i really say a tad too much?

it's just like the previous time after o level prelims when i tried to fool everyone that my hc application somehow flopped and i was posted to rj instead. the whole world fell for it... until my grandpa got involved and i felt so miserable lying to him. haha. yar so my prank collapsed and i remembered wen and kyna were so pissed i lied to them that they they "dao-ed" me for 1 minute hahaha. those were the days..

anyway, yes fine. confession time. my parents got an extra car, but it's not mine and as my dad emphasises, it's to SHARE with my siblings also. but regardless, it's not here yet, so no point talking to abt it.

btw i just accepted the AGD internship. geri says branding is impt for internships, so i guess i was really lucky =)
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i now feel a sense of responsibility i ought to perform to myself. i guess it's a kind of gravitation that i'm experiencing and i'm glad i am. i hope it lasts coz i really feel quite determined. i guess seeing it everyday would be a good reminder.
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i rmb ahpek always loved to blog about his favourite phrase 'with power comes responsibility', i think he got it from his fav spiderman. i guess this phrase applies to me now. my dad was talking to me the whole night about it.

my parents have finally and miraculously relented.

but i somehow don't feel the joy and ecstasy that i thought i'd experience. maybe coz it's not here yet.

i think i'd be increasingly cash-strapped. it's a trade off, so i seriously seriously seriously need to find new avenues of income. i guess that's a good push factor to force me to study the stock market carefully and more conscientiously.

thanks mum and dad! i really appreciate it! =)
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yesterday was great fun with kris and mari! lol. well, initially we were supposed to eat coca lunch, but coz i had mkting meeting, so we had to permanantly kiv our plan, sad.

actually, i was having really bad cramps yesterday, but i still decided to go out with them and it proved a good choice really haha. we first started out looking for cheap pedicure places at far east and well, we literally walked the whole of far-east and as we were about to give up looking for the legendary $7 pedi, we accidentally stumbled upon it! lucky us. you know, we were discussing yesterday that it's quite scary for girls, or specifically females in general to go shopping together because we'd all decide that we want to go budget, but after chatting excitedly with ur fellow female shoppers, the budget kinda gets thrown out subconsciously. so in the end, instead of the express pedi that we wanted, we all did a classic lol. but i think it's really value for money (see kristin, i didn't use cheap!) coz it was only $20. ok hindsight - it's not that value for money.. quite expensive actually. BUT relative to the other places we checked out, we did save an amazing $10! =) i think my nail colour is a little too dark, i think mari's colour is really nice. damn. nvm there is always a next time hehe. i will rmb mari's colour OPI W44!

and yes, being a bunch of females, we naturally did what we were best at while strolling down orchard - shop. hmm. i bought a skirt and 2 dresses. actually i don't even know when i'd wear them coz i'm not too fond of wearing skirts while taking public transport. i think that it's really quite inconvenient if i have to walk across the overhead bridge; i've seen it happen way too many times. oh well, we shall see. my sis suggested i can wear the black dress i bought to work. i think it's a good idea haha

then after that we walked all the way to somerset to eat orange lantern!honestly, i'm quite impressed with mari and kris for being able to lug such insanely heavy bags across orchard without a single complaint of the weight! mari herself was carry a labtop, mkting text and a whole stack of paper and kris of course, carried her usual garang guni bag lol. kris, i really think u shouldn't bring so many things, it's not good for ur back to carry this kinda weight around. anyway finally got to drink my avocado shake! no wonder my skin felt like it's in better shape this morning hehe. kris said she really liked the vietnamese food there. i think it's fun to explore new places, and it's really uncanny coz as i thought i knew orchard inside out, i never knew that killiney area served so many nice and cheap food! hmm orange lantern wasn't that cheap, but i think the shops next to it served quite affordable food haha.

oh hmm. i think i kinda pissed sq and pam off quite badly last night. sigh. they were complaining to me that they find it super difficult to ask me out. maybe it's coz i'm to some extent, quite a boring person. i don't club, i only do social drinking and i'm not fond of hanging out late. but sq and pam like to live their lives like that. sigh. but the thing is, they should know that i don't like to go out late at night and i also don't like last minute arrangements. i mean if it's once in a while, i don't mind, but i don't think we should make it a habit to meet late every time we meet. it's..unhealthy! anyway they insisted i went last night coz it'd be the last time we'd be meeting up before sq flies back to aus. but please, don't use that excuse on me coz i can't help it but to roll my eyes. sometimes, if you keep using the same reason every week, it really won't work anymore. and if you really want to meet up with me, why can't you ask me out earlier? why can't we go for dinner instead? why supper?? i really don't get it. sigh. anyway, regardless of how annoyed i was last night, i decided to buy their story one more time and i called pam around 9+. her phone wasn't turned on. sigh. i called like another million and one times, but her phone was still dead. so i came home in the end.. she gave me a missed call while i was already sleeping last night. i think she's going to yell at me. i could tell sq was quite annoyed coz she gave me her annoyed tone when she ended the call yesterday. sigh. maybe i should ask them out for dinner tmr. sigh.
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ok i'd just do a short entry because i think it's hopelessly hilarious that something like that can happen to someone who is turning 21 this year lol!

on tuesday, kristin did the most embarrassing thing that i've seen anyone do. she was wearing a dark blue dress. and it was only during company law class(which was around 12pm), when i stared at her dress did i realise that the design of her dress was somewhat unique. lol. the seams were on the outside of the dress. so i stared harder and realised TO MY HORROR that she wore the dress inside out!! O M G.

so damn embarrassing la. but luckily kristin is born with thick skin LOL. oh the the funniest part is she still put the blame on her maid for putting the dress on the hanger the wrong way!! HAHAHA please kristin, you need to be more independent!!
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i went for the cargill interview today and i think it went quite smoothly.. i hope haha. 2 financial controllers and 1 HR manager interviewed me. i guess i was quite lucky coz they didn't ask me any technical questions about the commodity markets, but rather, they asked me more career questions, like 'why did i choose accounting?', 'do i foresee myself working as an accountant all my life', 'where do i see myself in 10 years time?' haha. yea they're quite a friendly bunch la. hope i get in.

and if i really do get in, i think i must really give geri a big thank you! coz yesterday over lunch, she was sharing her interview experience with me and telling me exactly how i should go about preparing for the interview.
i think she's probably the most experienced interview person i know coz just for her MAS interview alone, she went for 5 rounds alr lol. BTW geri got herself a job at MAS! congrats geri! =)

so yesterday, i came back, did my research on cargill and spent my night preparing for the interview. luckily the information i read up came in handy =)

btw my mum kept telling me she thinks my hair is too dry and i should stop blowing it everyday. sighhhhhhhh. we shall seeee. actually i also agree that my blowing skills suck. it's so different from the way gerald sets it. siannnn.

anyway i just found myself another way of getting rich. i think i should charge zong for smokescreen money. i heard that he just used me as a smokescreen on fb just now. what the crap.
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i'm so happy~~~ heatwave is FINALLY open!!! they've been closed since first day of new year and i've been calling them since wed!! so i'm gg to cut my hair later!! HAPPY~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

kk anywayyy the main point of today's entry is to blog about last night's dinner. it was meant to be zong's late bday celebration. well, but coz it was his bday, so i guess he had the right to be spoilt and make gan kristin and i wait for 1 hour or so. but it was good that he was late coz i managed to buy a nice pair of sandals! i've been wanting to get a new pair for ages and i saw pam wearing it that day and i thought it looked quite nice, shall wear it later for risk meeting haha. oh kristin wore her pretty pink dress and pink sandals last night. lol. i thought it was quite nice actually, sweet demure look. and her maid combed her hair, so it was nice =) oh zong dressed up for once too! i'm really glad he didn't come in berms in the end, otherwise so cui. haha. but his white shirt and jeans combi came together quite nice, so he has proven his point that he has commendable dress sense after all hahah.

yesterday was a loonngggggggggggg time since the 4 of us went out together. when was the last time we went out as a grp.. hmmm.. i can't rmb seriously. anyway, we met at clarke quay and decided to walk over to robertson quay to eat liangkee. i really don't rmb the walk being so far, the other time i took a walk with my family after dinner, it really didn't seem so long. hmm maybe coz we were strolling and walking really slowly. maybe zong was right to roll his eyes in shock when he heard we were walking. lol. so the food there was good as usual, i love the duck with the sengnichow(this teochew chilli dip). zong said it was nice too. i think gan liked the tofu coz he kept eating that dish haha.

after dinner, we went over to yello jello. you know. i really don't like pubs with live bands. it's not conducive for talking. maybe that's why my fav pub is still balcony. yes i know, everyone says it's passe, but really, it's a VERY good place to talk. and the lychee magarita is nice. initially we sat on those high chairs inside, but gan accidentally toppled our drinks, so we moved outside to the smokers' area instead. the chairs were MUCH better, the environment was much quieter, but yea, it was still the smokers' zone. anyway, we had a nice chat there till abt 2am. and zong told me that his first impression of me was that i was 'hiao'!!!! he said it wasn't a bad thing, but hiao?? okok NVM NVM. i know i know. it must have been my hair. it was too short. let me emphasise that i'm a very good girl who does not club or smoke.

hmm actually kristin kinda blogged abt the details of our convo, so haha i won't repeat what she wrote. and just before i was about to sleep last night, i checked my phone and saw zong's sms. lol. yes, as what kristin said, it was mushy, but i thought it was really sweet that zong took the effort to come up with it and smsed to us =)
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